Your guilty consciences may make you vote Democratic, but secretly you all yearn for a Republican president to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king!

The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity… Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs. We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.

Aaah! Natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me! They only come out in the night. Or in this case, the day. I don't like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there's too many fat children. Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry?

Stan Lee never left. I'm afraid his mind is no longer in mint condition.

Uh, no, they're saying "Boo-urns, Boo-urns." The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity… I didn't get rich by signing checks. You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

1. I don't like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there's too many fat children.
2. Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?
3. Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.

What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway.

I didn't get rich by signing checks. Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix. Your guilty consciences may make you vote Democratic, but secretly you all yearn for a Republican president to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king!

• Brace yourselves gentlemen. According to the gas chromatograph, the secret ingredient is… Love!? Who's been screwing with this thing?
• Dad didn't leave… When he comes back from the store, he's going to wave those pop-tarts right in your face!
• But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You're from two different worlds… Oh, I've wasted my life.

Inflammable means flammable? What a country. A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow…and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner. Jesus must be spinning in his grave!

I'll be back. You can't keep the Democrats out of the White House forever, and when they get in, I'm back on the streets, with all my criminal buddies. A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. Six feet tall, 300 pounds…it makes ice.

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! I'll be back. You can't keep the Democrats out of the White House forever, and when they get in, I'm back on the streets, with all my criminal buddies.

Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry? Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about! When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!

Hi. I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as "Smoke Yourself Thin" and "Get Some Confidence, Stupid!" You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

I hope I didn't brain my damage. I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn. I'll keep it short and sweet — Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You're from two different worlds… Oh, I've wasted my life. Look out, Itchy! He's Irish! Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There's a New Mexico?

Your guilty consciences may make you vote Democratic, but secretly you all yearn for a Republican president to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king! Fire can be our friend; whether it's toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.

Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen. Oh, a sarcasm detector. Oh, that's a really useful invention! "Thank the Lord"? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don't have a place within an organized religion.

Stan Lee never left. I'm afraid his mind is no longer in mint condition. Please do not offer my god a peanut. Books are useless! I only ever read one book, "To Kill A Mockingbird," and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does that do me?

Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? Why did I have the bowl? Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs.